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the winds are changing.

i'm nearly ready.

May 23rd, 2008

sleep schedule = completely fucked. My body can't decide when it's sleepy, and when it's not. Sometimes it's bedtime at 10pm, sometimes it's bedtime at 9am. These days I'm almost playing a game with myself. It's called the "Let's see how confused we can make our body" game. It goes like this:

long description of when I sleepCollapse )

I'm certain that the answer is to make myself stick to a sleep schedule, but I'm not good at that. It'll probably get better again after I go back to seconds (the week of June 16).

Until then, my sleep schedule is unpredictable, and fluid. very very fluid. and right fucked. I still like neir's quote best, though.

me: (a couple months ago, when I was actually almost sticking to a sleep schedule)
"I think I've got my sleep schedule under control, now."

Neir: "... how can you schedule something that doesn't happen?"

May 13th, 2008

(no subject)

bw flower
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): During your entire life, you have maybe
never been as free as you are now from the need to be rescued by some
savior. You don't need anyone to rescue you from your own dark
fantasies because, at least for the moment, your bright fantasies have
rendered them obsolete. You don't need anyone to liberate you from
oppression or enslavement, because you are fully empowered to do the
job yourself. You don't even need anyone to deliver you from evil, since
your recent hard work has made evil allergic to you.

this is exactly what I decided, on my drive home from the eye doctor. he just said it better.

May 8th, 2008

(no subject)

do a little dance
I'm going to see these two saturday night.

I'm going to see the the cartoon band in a month.

I need more concerts.

... GO!


not a concert, but still awesome:

Wicked, the Musical on July 26th.

May 4th, 2008

(no subject)

My need to touch and be touched is at an all time high. I hug, and poke, and lean on, and nom the heads of all my friends all the time, and get much of the same in return.

Well, no. Not all. At some point I started a mental 'safe' list. If you're on the safe list, I feel completely, physically, comfortable with you. I'll wrestle with you, and hug you, and kiss your head, and hold your hand. I'll walk up behind you and choke you with a hug, to show you I appreciate you, and like you, and like that you're around.

Having surrounded myself with people that are like me, or at least accept me as someone who will attack you with love, I feel accomplished. Especially when I remember the times that I've surrounded myself with friends who aren't physically affectionate.

The other thing I do, which only a few people actually understand, is that every single bit of giving that I do, I don't expect a return. Every bit of loving I do, or favors I give, or love I express. It's all done without any expectations. I just want to do, or give, or express. That's what I need. It's all selfish, really.

The love for everyone has always been part of my makeup. I don't know if it went away while Dave and I were together, or if I just noticed it less, and am noticing it more now. Either way, I like it.

April 22nd, 2008

(no subject)

bw flower
For the first time in a long time I've trimmed my friends list. and by trimmed, I mean went from 118 people to 75. I've been completely lax in reading anything. and I've been closed up tight, keeping everything to myself. Maybe by trimming it down to people I trust, and want to be around, and want to see, I'll be more likely to post more?

we'll see.

April 2nd, 2008


never. gets. old.

April 1st, 2008

(no subject)

bw flower

d0ct0rvenkman and I went to see revelation8 saturday. tomato bros., mario cart, and cards.

I drink black coffee now.

Third shift is killing my flow.

I slept with my window open this morning, and dreamed of being controlled, and repressed, and trapped.

mom's moving this saturday. If I promise doughnuts for breakfast, and beer and pizza for after everything's moved, who wants to come help?

March 25th, 2008

(no subject)

this makes me giggle.

a lot.

March 21st, 2008

(no subject)

this is only an excuse to use my new icon.

that is all.

March 20th, 2008


hi. larious.

March 14th, 2008


bw flower
no, seriously.

March 3rd, 2008

(no subject)

bw flower
so, we got nameplates the other week.

guess what mine says?Collapse )

oh, they do love me!

February 17th, 2008

hi. freakin. larious.

bw flower

February 14th, 2008

(no subject)

beer from mars
so, the new macbook has a problem with its cdrom.

I called the mac store in novi, got the automated system, which sent me to mac phone support, where I talked to a wicked cool guy (who'd been in ann arbor last weekend) named Rishi, who, in less than ten minutes, scheduled me an appointment to take the macbook in to the store in novi, and had all kinds of other fun information for me.


I've never had a product that was under warranty before, but that was pretty damn cool. and easy.

and stuff.

/me goes back to work.

Hey Jennifer,

This is Rishi, your case number for today is 93152219, and i just wanted to let you know that you have 503 days left for phone support and 502 days left for hardware warranty.

February 11th, 2008

(no subject)

bw flower
back to michigan, safe and sound. Somehow, I avoided this, and avoided being any one of the three-dozen cars I saw in the ditch while in PA. New York was a blast, and just the vacation I needed. I'm planning a more detailed post with pictures and stuff, later. I love my phone. You will all see the wonderfulness that is my photo diary of the trip.

For now, go here.

February 7th, 2008

(no subject)

I swear. to. GOD!

I can't get posting by email (from my phone) to work. Clearly, I am retarded.

/me goes home to sleep.

January 20th, 2008

(no subject)

anybody got an ibook harddrive laying around that they want to get rid of? mine, apparently, has finally given up the ghost.

January 18th, 2008

(no subject)

I'm going to Sindhu for lunch today. gimme a call if you want to join me.

January 12th, 2008

(no subject)

My wrists have been bare for a month. They look funny to me, without anything on them. Since, really, i can't find my floss anywhere, I'll have to get some more. it took a damn long time to build up that supply, and get them all onto cards and stuff. it'll be fun to mix them all up, again, and have my brother freak out an organize them again.

Today I'm working on some training materials, and documentation, for work. I've given up on trying to get these things done at work, so I'm at theio's.

It's funny to me that, even with stuff that I'm excited about, I can find ways to procrastinate. My new phone (which I love, love, LOVE; and has the longest battery life of any phone I've ever had: five days with normal use) won't play nice with my Mac, so I talked bigglesworth11 into letting me borrow his microSD usb card reader. I put the music on the card that way, and the phone plays it like a charm. Ah, subverting incompatibilities.

and wasting an hour going through my 20+ gig of music to pick out the stuff I /really/ like, then the stuff I really like, then the stuff I like.

work babbleCollapse )

I'm excited. very very excited.

... maybe it's because my sister keeps force feeding me coffee?

I swear she's channeling Karen.

Actuall, I'm slowly, and quietly, taking over the world. starting with liquidweb. at least, that's what everyone suspects. wait 'till they find out what's /actually/ going on.

January 11th, 2008

(no subject)

bw flower
so, I'm in town afterall. with nothing to do. Something going on? gimme a call.

January 5th, 2008

(no subject)

bw flower
In 2008, benniferus resolves to...
Find a new turbo.
Learn to play the siddhartha.
Eat more dragons.
Cut down to ten sf conventions a day.
Give some nicknames to charity.
Stop plotting with carl67.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:

pretty damn funny.

I finally gave in and got a new phone yesterday. The lady at the verizon store was nice enough to move my phone book. So, now I have a cool phone (that I got for a deal) and don't even have to re-program my phone numbers, and I might even start calling folks back, since my phone will now call the person I ask it to, and not whoever it damn well pleases.

January 3rd, 2008


bw flower
not inappropriate, but hilarious

December 31st, 2007


Fool heads
no hooker love.

photo credit to velvettnrbt

December 30th, 2007

bullshit button

the usefulness of this gadget is quickly moving it up the list to become my favorite present from yesterday.

(no subject)

bw flower
miranda's practically force-feeding me coffee tonight. I take one gulp, and she's back around with the pot.

also, I can't find my embroidery floss. this is more bothering than one might expect.

I'm just over 1/2 way through Zero: The Biography of a dangerous idea, and loving it. It's fun to watch zero concur the world, through a quiet, nagging, persistence.

the boys around me are all head-phoned, and lap-topped, and we're all equally ignoring the waitresses. I think miranda goes back and forth between pissed off about it, and thinking it's cute to watch us all working so hard.

Oh, yeah! Christmas today. My favorite items of the day were skimmed, and had the first twenty pages read before we left mom's house (mixed in with many many songs from guitar hero and rock band).

I'm still kinda sick, too. It makes me sad. I wanna go see abby. For some reason, sleep and vitamins aren't fixing it. kinda want to stomp around and throw a fit. instead, i quietly pine.

birthday race

every year there's a silent, familial, competition to be the first to wish us a happy birthday. my brother won last year at 1:30am on my birthday. I won at 4:30am on my brother's birthday. my mom was destroyed. "Well, ma, when we're up drinking the night before our birthdays, it's far easier." "It's not fair!" she said. "6:30 am should bloody well be early enough!"

at 1:12am, my mother won the race for my birthday. I'll have to make sure I'm on my game in next week, if I'm going to beat her for my brother's birthday.

December 27th, 2007


bw flower
I'm all grumbly with bitter and angry today. Until I read this. Then I laugh with the bitter and angry.

December 26th, 2007

So ... Google.

According to Microsoft, they're a monopolist in the online marketing world (and if anyone would know a monopolist, it's Microsoft). They even made a nifty little diagram (pdf), in pretty colors, to make it easier for us too busy to read too many words.

And, over at the New York Times there's a story about another one of Google's nifty side projects.

Google News, an increasingly popular way to get news online, may tip that balance, however, with a feature it calls “Comments From People in the News.” The idea is simple: if you have been quoted in an article that appears on Google News ... you can post a comment that will be paired with that article. (Journalists can comment, as well, Google says, though none have done so thus far.)

and my favorite part of this article is here:

With efforts like book scanning, or its Blogger service or the recently unveiled “knol” project under which specialists write encyclopedia-type articles, Google is actively adding information to the world, not merely organizing it.

So, Google's all over the damn place, right? quietly, or not so quietly, taking over bigger and bigger bits of our lives. I turned on the search history a while back, and between that, and gmail, they probably know more about my search/browsing patterns than I do.

But, really, I'm not worried. If a company really is made by its people, and google has some of the coolest, and smartest, people in the world, then, in theory, even if they become technological dictators, it will be a cool and smart dictatorship, yeah? right?

December 19th, 2007

uh, guys?

funny l&#39;il cheese
am I the only one who hasn't started my christmas shopping? I mean, yeah, I have ideas, but ... they're still at the store.
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